Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Here's a piece from my journal I wanted to share on here. I wrote this while I was at Creation Fest this past week :)
Tonight as I was laying on an old bridge, with the wind roaring around me, gazing at the stars... it was breath-taking. I could've cried with the beauty of it all. Moments like those break me. Not in a bad way... it's just something inside me snaps, like I can't grasp the full beauty of it, and it breaks my heart when I know that there's even more that I'm missing.
It was all so peaceful, beautiful, heartbreaking. I love and cherish those moments when they come, I try to remember them to my fullest ability. Too often, I don't.. but I think I will remember this one. With everything around me crying out with beauty, I thought of Isaiah 55:12, where it talks about God's creation singing and clapping their hands... that was exactly what I heard around me tonight. It was... amazing. Looking at the stars that filled the Heavens above me, I saw the handiwork of God screaming out His glory and holiness. Psalm 19:1 came to mind then: "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth His handiwork."
And I felt so small. So insignificant. And so unworthy to have witnessed something so divinely beautiful; to have been, as it were, allowed to witness how God gloried in His work... it was spectacular. I don't know how to explain it. My heart broke further, my soul sang with the stars and the wind. I didn't fully understand - I don't fully understand - what was happening. The sheer wonder of it filled me with such joy to be His.
You make beautiful things, Lord.
But as this all transpired in a few short moments of time, a little voice whispered to me how I was nothing, and I couldn't share this wonder and joy with Him, or anyone else, because I was too small. As that crushing thought filled my mind, the lyrics to a song drifted into my sorrow-filled ears just as swiftly as that thought had, "Get me out of my mind, and into your heart... I'm gonna start playing my part in your design" (Anthem Lights, Outta My Mind)
As I look on this world God has created, that's so beautiful and cries out of His glory, I tend to forget that I too am part of His design. God made the stars, and He made me. He made the trees, and He made me. I am part of His creation, His design. I too was created for His glory, I too am part of His design! It doesn't matter that there were a million stars in the sky - each on was signing praise to it's creator; each on joined in the worship of the one who designed them.
I am one of millions of people, and I am able to be some of the ones singing to Him, praising him, worshiping Him. Just because I'm only one small person doesn't mean that God doesn't hear and enjoy my praise of Him, my worship of Him - my creator. I thought about how simply my praising Him could cause someone to see Him as well, just like the stars drew me to look at Him tonight. Those stars weren't putting on a performance for me, weren't trying to get my attention, they were just doing what they were created for: bringing glory to God.
And I thanked Him, for allowing me to be one of the billions that have this opportunity to sing with the stars and the wind praises to Him who created us to worship Him.
Thank you, Father.
And even now, in the silence, as the sea of people around me sleep - I hear the singing of the stars. Thank you for giving me ears to hear.