And Still, He Loves Me: A Prayer

Dear Lord,
Thank you. There are no words to describe my eternal thankfulness that you have chosen to love, me. But that doesn't matter, because you know my heart...
I don't deserve anything from you: but you give it to me anyway. I've run from you, and disgraced you, I fail at showing you to others, I sometimes ignore you, I don't always turn to you first when I need help: but you love me anyway. Despite all the things I've done, all the things I will do, all the things I even think about doing... you still love me!
It is such a marvelous thing, and something that seems so impossible.
How can you love someone who is so broken? Someone who fails you? Someone who is so stubborn? Someone who is everything that you are not? Everything logical says that if I had someone who treated me the way I treat you, I never would even tolerate it, let alone love them. But you, God, you do.
I don't deserve any of this, but I am so grateful that your grace is extended to me.
You love me even though I disregard what you teach me. You love me, even though I scorned you for so long. You love me, after all that I've done... You love me.
I fail regularly, significantly more often then I succeed. But no matter what I do, or don't do... You still love me. I don't understand it: it's beyond my full comprehension.
I get mad at you, I demand explanation when you have no obligation to give me one, I question why you do things, I forget that my plan for my life is nothing in comparison to your plan for my life, I forget that my dreams are the dust, while yours... They would make me happier than anything I could possibly dream up on my own.
But still I'm stubborn. Still I try to run from your will. These rare moments of clarity come, and for a few brief minutes, I realize the love behind the things in my life... Tomorrow though, I'll undoubtedly be back to my old ways: griping, and complaining, not understanding, not taking you on your word...
I'm so ashamed.
But still, you love me.
In light of all I am, you still love me! In light of all I've done, you still love me. It was me who murdered Jesus, it was me who wouldn't believe you were who you said you were... It was all me. I wasn't physically there when humankind killed your son, but from the moment I entered this earth, until the moment I accepted you as my savior, I murdered Him in my heart.
I refused you for so long! I rejected you, so many times. I heard you call me, and turned away. But still, you whispered to me, asked me to trust you... You still loved me.
People here in this world make me feel rejected. It hurts so badly. I find it hard to forgive them, let alone love them...
I rejected you daily, I refused you daily... but you forgave me, and love me. You gave me eternal life, and peace, and happiness, even though I had refused you for so long!
After all that I've done to you, you still love me.

Your love is unconditional!

Do I deserve such joy, such love? No. But your love is unconditional, and so I fall under your grace and goodness despite my complete inadequacy.

Thank you.